


Bad Day

by Jayfur08



Series: Family Of Six [11]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Chatting & Messaging, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, MILD - Freeform, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Texting, implied/referenced eating disorder, voices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 23:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29215968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jayfur08/pseuds/Jayfur08
Summary: Anne was not having a good day.But it was okay, she had people to help her.
Relationships: Anne Boleyn & Katherine Howard, Anne Boleyn/Catherine of Aragon, Anne of Cleves/Jane Seymour, Katherine Howard/Catherine Parr
Series: Family Of Six [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2065728
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Read the tags, but this isn't nearly as bad as the other two Anne Depression Fics
> 
> Still, don't read if it'll upset you

Today _sucked._

Not the events that happened, not something someone said, nothing like that. It just _sucked._

Anne woke up and felt like **_shit._** You know why? Because she only got, like, a few hours of sleep and had been forcing herself to stay still while she was awake because shifting could wake up Catherine and that was **_mean_** and **_selfish_** of her.

But is it? Probably not, but the voice said so and Anne just could not ignore it for some reason.

She had off days, sure, but this one just... God, did it _suck._

She got up at around 5 and went up to the rooftop, like she always did on off days. She wondered if she would see Cathy again.

She only stayed for a few minutes because she couldn't stop thinking about what would happen if she threw herself off and ended it and then feeling _guilty_ for thinking that and wanting to do it more and more **_guilt._** It was a horrible cycle, really.

So, she went inside and figured she would eat now before it got worse so that she could eat at all.

But then she couldn't eat.

She just... She couldn't do it. So, she threw the cereal out and watched TV until everyone else woke up.

Cathy and Kat came up, Kat jumping onto the couch while Cathy got coffee and some cereal after Kat said she had to eat something.

“Why don't we wake the others and get breakfast?” Cathy suggested.

Anne hummed and nodded while Kat got up and started saying something, Anne couldn't focus.

She figured that she could eat better if everyone else was around, and even tell Lina if she couldn't. Just bite her lip until she notices.

**_Don't worry her with your problem._ **

_She said that she's okay with it. She isn't a liar._

**_I bet she'd be happy if you didn't eat._ **

_Okay, that doesn't make sense._

_**You'd be skinner.** _

_And?_ Anne knew the answer, tapping on the couch. After all, the voice was a part of her. Of course, she knew the answer.

**_Who doesn't like skinny girls?_ **

Anne hummed as she noticed Jane and Anna walking out, Catherine not far behind.

 _There's a difference between skinny girls and eating disorders,_ She reminded herself, but it wouldn't do anything. She knew it wouldn't do anything.

Anne highly valued her appearance, it all stemmed from the fact that it was the only way to survive for a while. To be young and attractive. Skinny. She liked to look good, just for herself, but it was also a survival mechanism.

It was funny how much of her personality was a survival or defense mechanism.

But that didn't matter right now.

She just had to eat.

If she fell back into this cycle, if she spiraled and tried to kill herself again, everyone would be upset. They would have to go through that again and she didn't want that.

“Where do you guys wanna go?” Kat asked at some point.

Anne let the others lead the conversation.

She grabbed Catherine's hand as they got in the car, but couldn't lean against her or cuddle. Catherine glanced at her, but Anne just smiled and looked forward as Jane sat in the driver's seat and Anna in the shotgun seat.

Anne went through the day on autopilot, eating and talking enough to keep suspicious away. If she got through today, it would all be okay. She knew that Lina knew her. All she had to do was look down and not answer when Catherine asked her if she was okay. All she had to do was open her arms and she could let it all out.

**_Don't you think it would be better to do it on your own?_ **

Anne noticed that the voices had slowly faded into one voice and it was more... Suggestions and questions than ‘facts’ like, ”No one likes you.”

It was easier to ignore. Not easy, necessarily, but easier.

But today was rough. She couldn't help but agree with the voice, so she just let herself run on autopilot until she got home.

That was all she could do.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Shocking literally no one, Anne just went to her room when they got home. When someone asked, she just said she was going to work on her song and maybe take a nap because she woke up pretty early.

No one seemed to question it.

That's where she spent the next few hours, staring at the ceiling and letting the voice ramble about how shitty of a person she was.

She wasn't too concerned for a bit.

It wasn't until her neck started burning, that familiar feeling, God she hated it.

She shook her head and resisted the urge to scratch at it. She just took off her choker and took a few deep breaths.

Okay.

She couldn't do this.

She had to tell Lina.

**_Don't worry her with your problems!_ **

_Hey, shut the fuck up_ , She thought as she pulled out her phone.

After staring at the screen for a bit, she worked up the courage to text her and ask for help.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
 **(BeheadedBoleyn — > GoldenQueen)**  
 _3:42 PM_

BeheadedBoleyn: hey can u come to my room

BeheadedBoleyn: i need help

_3:43 PM_

BeheadedBoleyn: lina pls

BeheadedBoleyn: fortement importuns are rly loud and i think theres starting to be more than one again

BeheadedBoleyn: i rly rly dont feel okay and need you rn

_3:45_

BeheadedBoleyn: lina

BeheadedBoleyn: r u there?

BeheadedBoleyn: fuck i dont 

BeheadedBoleyn: i dont wanna feel like this 

BeheadedBoleyn: lina i think i might cut pls

_3:47_

BeheadedBoleyn: damn ok

BeheadedBoleyn: i guess u rnt here

BeheadedBoleyn: ok ok ok i can do this alone

BeheadedBoleyn: just whenever you see this pls come back soon

_3:53 PM_

BeheadedBoleyn: hey just trying one more time

BeheadedBoleyn: i havent felt like this for a while and im genuinely scared im gonna scratch at my neck or cut or smth

BeheadedBoleyn: and i know that would disappoint everyone and im sorry that u even have to deal with this and that i cant just b normal

_3:55 PM_

BeheadedBoleyn: ok ur not here

BeheadedBoleyn: thats fine this is fine i got this   
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
“Oh, hey, Catherine left her phone here,” Anna hummed before letting out a laugh, ”Oh, my God, she has nineteen texts from Anne.”

“Nineteen?!” Kat jumped up from the couch, grinning, ”Oh, my God, Anne is such a simp!”

“Doesn't she know Catherine isn't here?” Cathy asked, tilting her head, “Her and Jane left, like, a half an hour ago.”

“She probably just woke up from her nap,” Kat shrugged, ”Or was about to take her nap and wanted Catherine to cuddle with her because- again- she's a simp.”

“What do the texts say?” Cathy smiled a little, ”Is she asking for cuddles?”

“Can't tell,” Anna shrugged, ”All I can see is that the text messages are from Anne and the amount. I'd need the phone unlocked to see anyone and I don't know the passcode.”

“Damn,” Kat sighed, ”I wanted to tease her for this. I mean, I still can, but the texts would've been funny to see.”

“Should we tell her?” Anna asked, setting Catherine's phone down and walking back to the couch.

“Once Catherine's phone hits thirty messages,” Kat joked, ”But, no, probably not. It might embarrass her to know that we saw she texted so many times.”

“It would probably embarrass me,” Cathy agreed.

“So we pretend we didn't see it,” Anna sat down, ”Cool.”  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Anne was not doing okay.

She was the opposite of okay.

Obviously, she had felt much worse, but this was different.

She knew that cutting was bad.

She wanted to ask for help.

There's nothing worse than knowing that this a problem and still wanting to do it.

Still feeling the urge.

Okay.

She needed to ask someone else for help.

She didn't know how or why, but Lina was unavailable.

**_Or ignoring you._ **

_Fuck._

_Okay, okay, okay! There are others._

Anne pulled out her phone and stared at it. That's it. She clicked on their messaging app, but... She couldn't do it. She couldn't text them.

**_You don't want to bug them._ **

No, she didn't... But she couldn't go back to her bad habits.

_**Come on! What's one cut here and there?** _

_Bad..._

_**Nothing will happen. Besides, it helped.** _

Anne sighed and set her phone down. It helped, but only for a little.

_**Why not scratch your neck, then?** _

_Scratching my neck leads to cutting. Always._

_**If you were better, it wouldn't. Kitty doesn't cut and she scratches at her neck, sometimes. You're just weak.** _

_That... That's a fair point._

Anne sighed and sat up. _Okay..._

She rubbed her eyes and got out of bed. Just... She couldn't go to the bathroom because she would want to throw up or find a blade or something and she didn't want to do that. She didn't know if she was strong enough to stop herself.

Anne didn't know what to do.

So, she just put her choker on, as tight as she could while still being able to breathe relatively well. Maybe it would help her not scratch at it.

_I've got this._

_**No, you don't.** _

_Yes, I do,_ She began to pace around, _I just have to wait for Lina._

_**You're so dependant. Don't you think that's annoying?** _

_It isn't annoying..._ Anne felt her breathing quicken.

**_You can't even ask someone else for help? You're such a coward._ **

_Shut up..._ Her vision was getting darker, she had to sit down, she had to sit down...

**_Why don't you just cut and get it over with? You can't stop. What's the use of trying?_ **

_It's been months!_ Anne stumbled back, just wanting to curl up and give up.

**_Sure, because everyone else has been putting blades out of reach and coddling the Hell out of you._ **

_They... They want to help me_ , Anne felt her blanket and went from there.

**_And yet here you are, about to cut._ **

_That doesn't even make sense!_ Anne sat down and grabbed her phone, _I'm not about to cut..._

**_Why not?_ **

Anne didn't try to reason with the voice, it couldn't be reasoned with, she knew that.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
 **(BeheadedBoleyn — > KittyKatherine)**  
 _4:32 PM_

BeheadedBoleyn: whos home rn

KittyKatharine: Uh

KittyKatharine: Me, Cathy, Anna, and you

KittyKatherine: Why? You okay?

_4:34 PM_

KittyKatherine: Anne if you don't answer I'm coming to your room

BeheadedBoleyn: no

BeheadedBoleyn: and im sorry because i should be fine but im not and im sorry

KittyKatherine: Hey hey Anne it's okay

BeheadedBoleyn: no it isnt fucking okay

BeheadedBoleyn: i should be fine but im not and i dont like it

BeheadedBoleyn: i should be fucking fine but instead im sitting in my room fighting with myself on whether or not i should slice my arm up

KittyKatherine: Anne I'm gonna come to your room is it okay if everyone else comes?

BeheadedBoleyn: its fine just domt touch me for a bit

KittyKatherine: Okay  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
Kat knocked on the door, ”Can we come in?”

There was a quiet, “Yeah...” from inside the room, so she opened the door and winced.

Anne was curled up in a blanket, not quite crying but obviously very close to it.

She signaled the others to stay back for a second before sitting on the bed next to her.

“What's wrong?” Kat asked, softly.

“Voices,” Anne mumbled, ”Too loud.”

“What are they saying?” Kat glanced at the others and mouthed, ‘Shut the door.’ Cathy seemed to be the only one to get the message as she nudged the other two inside and shut the door.

“A lot,” Anne hummed and glanced at Kat, ”Mostly to cut.”

“Annie...” Kat sighed. Anne stayed quiet and looked down. Kat glanced at the others, who all looked just as confused and lost as she felt.

She wasn't an expert in this, but she had to try. For her cousin.

“Hey, Annie?” Kat shifted in her seat, ”I mean... I kinda get it. Just with scratching my neck. It isn't the same, but-”

“No, it is,” Anne looked at her, ”That's how this started. Just my neck. And then everything else. It's not as bad, but it's basically the same thing.”

“You won't cut again, right?” Kat felt anxiety swell in her throat, ”You... You know you can come to us, right? You won't start cutting again?”

“I really, really don't want to,” Anne mumbled before holding out her hand, ”And I'm gonna try not to.”

Kat grabbed her hand and scooted closer, ”Okay, Annie. That's all I can ask for.”

“You guys can come over, too...” Anne glanced at the others, who walked over and sat on the bed.

“You doing better, Verführerin?” Anna asked.

Anne shrugged, ”A bit.”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Cathy looked at her.

“Just...” Anne looked down, ”Distract me from it. The voice.”

“We can do that!” Kat grinned, ”We can go watch some TV or just talk or do anything you want.”

“Thanks,” Anne gave a small smile for a second before looking down again.

“Anne, are you okay?!” Catherine ran in, an anxious-looking Jane not too fat behind her, ”I just got back and saw the texts and I'm sorry I left my phone and-”

“I'm okay,” Anne looked at her, ”Or... Better. Don't worry.”

Catherine walked over and sat on the bed, ”You sure?”

“Sure,” Anne nodded.

“You wanna go watch something?” Anna glanced at Jane.

“And have you eaten enough?” Jane asked, still looking worried.

Anne shrugged, ”Depends on what you mean by enough. But... But yeah, that sounds nice.”

“We can make some food and watch TV!” Kat stood up.

“You know, I kinda wanna watch Hamilton,” Cathy got up, too.

“I've already seen it,” Anna got up, pulling Jane with her, ”It's good.”

“You okay with that, Bo?” Catherine held out her hand.

Anne looked down for a second before smiling and taking it.

“It sounds great.”

**Author's Note:**

> Anne gets help because she deserves it
> 
> Also, the next work should be a series and musical related!


End file.
